| Publisher:
Pal Soft
Developer: Pal Soft
Size: 4 megs
No. of players: 2(simultaneously)
Got it for: $5.00, ebay. Cart and box only. Get this,
it *was a copy!* |
|
After
the first time the Shadow Warriors messed with Billy Lee, he not only
ripped them a new one...but had to whoop his brother Jimmy's ass too,
as Jimmy just couldn't
get enough of Marian's panty shots! After that whole thing cooled down,
the Lee brothers started hanging out at airfields...apparently this is
where they learned their new "Cyclone Spick Kick" attack(yeehaw!). Well,
one day the Shadow Warriors decided that they'd had enough of those fucking
Lee brothers and go off to shoot Marian. As per usual, right after that
happens the Lee brothers come running out of some random shed and proceed
to extract their vengeance...one hair-pull kick at a time!(note: I'm
guessing this isn't the official story of the game as it was told to
me by a talking toilet brush)
|
What's
it all about?
Like the original Double Dragon, its a
beat'em up where you go around attacking anything that gets in your way. In an
interesting turn of events, Double Dragon II takes on a rather "Renegade-ish" sort
of control scheme where the buttons, and their actions, actually change in accordance
to which direction your character is standing. You still have a punch and kick
attack, as well as a jump button, but now your kick is only used to attack enemies
behind you, where as the punches can attack those in front of you. Look left
and button A is punch, B is kick, turn right and now A is kick and B is punch.
Sounds weird at first, but it really works out pretty well. You'll move your
way
through the levels using the various regular attacks, special attacks(elbow,
jump kick,
but no hopping spick kick, it mysteriously vanished) and even a super attack(the
Cyclone Spin Kick) until you take out a boss, then you move to the next, so on
and so forth. |
Now,
the real issue of it all comes down to just how badly this game runs.
While you're playing, there is this constant lag that freezes the action(all
of it, like the entire screen has been frozen), and it occurs about twice
*every second* or so. Then, as if that's not bad enough there's horrible,
horrible early-SNES-game-slowdown that goes on just randomly during levels.
At times, no shit, you almost think
you've managed to turn on your controllers "slowdown" feature. There
is just no excuse for how bad this game is...
|
| Graphics
- Small, undetailed and piss-poorly animated. I swear that
the characters were bigger in the excellent NES version of DD2...not
to mention that just the graphics in general were better too. In terms
of being true to the arcade, at least the level layouts are relatively
the same...just seriously scaled down. |
| Sound
- Sound effects are an absolute disgrace. It's an assortment
of the worst samples of any given "combat" sounds you could ever imagine(though
the "puke-like" yelp the enemies let out when they die is pretty amusing).
Now, the music, on the other hand, is fucking great...and, really,
the only redeeming value of the cart. |
| Control
- A little loose. You characters move just a bit too fast,
makes it real, real easy to fall right off of ledges, miss weapon
pickups and such. Couple that with the constant pauses in gameplay
and you've got the makings of a broken controller... |
| AI
- Fucking cheap, just like it was in the arcade and in the
first game. They gang up on you,
they knock you down, they let you try to get up(as they stand directly over
you) and then they knock you down again. This plays out until you
either die, or get really luck and are able to move out of their way
as soon as you get up. |
| Replay
value - Extremely low. If the game's performance doesn't
drive you away, the cheap-ass AI and loose control will. |
Tips
for better gaming experiences:
Any
time you get a chance to knock an enemy off a ledge, into a bed of spikes
or whatever, FUCKING TAKE IT! The AI is just vicious, so play every bit
as dirty as they do. Past that, for some interesting reading as well as
why the game runs so badly, check out Double
Dragon 2 FAQ/Walkthrough by
Chris Zawada.
|
| My
rating: 27(out of 100) - Graphics suck, control is way too
loose, the AI is infuriating and the sound effects make you want to
shove spikes in your head...but somehow, it's almost so bad that it's
good. It's one of those "I can't not play it...at least every now
and then" sort of situations...and, if
nothing else, at least you can enjoy the soundtrack... |
Cat's review: OMG, I CANNOT believe how badly this thing runs. The
original GameBoy version of DD2 doesn't even have this many issues, and the
GameBoy is a piece of dog shit! Reow! |
|
|
Unfortunately
we say goodbye to our Queen of the Panty Shot in this episode of
Double Dragon... |
Jimmy
has a quick philosophical discussion while Billy throws some punk
to the ground... |
|
|
A
tasty Cyclone Spin Kick for the Lindas. |
Double
Dragon II for MegaDrive - Now featuring a whole 16 colors! |
Double
Copy!?:
Funny story behind this game, mind if I bore you for a
quick moment? Thanks. Well, if you've ever heard stories of this game....from
anyone, you know it's to be avoided at all costs. Like any nutty collector,
I couldn't manage to get it out of my mind, so I'd always keep and eye out
for it on ebay. Usually it goes for $40+, which is *far* more than it's worth(one
of those rarity vs quality sort of deals). At any rate, I found it at one
point for a starting bid of $5...didn't figure it'd stay there, but I bid
anyway. Well, it did, and I won. A bit later it shows up in the mail...and
it's a fucking copy! The misspellings on the box, not to mention the piss-poor
cart and case label reproduction were a dead give away. Check out the "fine"
job the pirates did on this one... |
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