Publisher: Sega
Developer: Sega
Size: 16 megs
No. of players: 2(simultaneously)
Got it for: $4.90, cart only...God help me.
Some ooze guy has been dug up on Earth...and now the Power Rangers have to beat him. That's it, that's as far as I'm going into comprehending the story behind this motherfucker.

What's it all about?
It's a beat'em up, starring those damn Power Rangers. Though you have your choice of six different Rangers, they all have A) the same combos(the *only* difference is that they all end it with their specific weapon), B) the same regular moves and C) the same special move. No matter who you pick, the gameplay is *exactly* the same with the exception of their weapon-specific charge moves(that the enemy *never* seems to fall for or, at times, even let you build up). After playing a few of the Ranger beat'em up levels you'll get to morph into some sort of Voltron-looking robot(a "Zord", apparently) to fight huge-ass bosses. The gameplay here is actually varied as the Rangers' morphed forms are really different from each other. In this mode you get to use weapons all the time as you tear up such nefarious bosses as "robotic bee" or "prissy guy with really big ears". It's every bit as thrilling as it sounds.
Speaking of enemies, did I mention the game has exactly *two* types of enemies? That's not a typo, there are TWO different kinds of enemies in the game....THAT'S IT. The rest of the enemies are bosses...and they are the same bosses; you have to fight them over and over and over. Gameplay basically consists of you going from level to level, fighting what seems to be a non-stop barrage of the same enemy(we're talking thirty to forty of the SAME enemy per level), you sometimes run across a boss, then you do it all over again until you reach a "Zord" fight, you beat up some more enemies, you fight some more Zords, then finally the game ends(and you cry yourself to sleep every night for the next two weeks).

Graphics - Nice, and about the only redeeming value of the cart(besides the control). Levels have a good amount of color and detail, and even have some slick parallax and other special effects going for them. The character graphics are seriously unbalanced with the smooth animation of the Rangers dwarfing the five to seven frames all of the enemies have going for them.
Sound - A tragedy. I could expect this kind of scratchy-ass audio with constant white noise going on behind it, from a third party...but this game was done by Sega(you know, the same guys who have brought you countless other games with decent audio). Sound effects are about the same: Scratchy and ear-piercing. Don't even get me started on the speech bits...
Control - Really smooth. Along with the graphics, this is about the only other thing in the game you'll walk away from *not* absolutely hating. Everything comes off really easily, and quickly...even the worthless charge moves. One nice thing I noticed about the game is that it really allows you to fight in two different directions quite seemlessly...and that's pretty hip.
AI - Mindless. They show up, they run circles around you, approach you, either hit you real quick or break out this "suck" move(kind of like those fuckers from Kung Fu) and that's about it. They like the gang up, but like I mentioned above, the fact that you can switch attacking directions so quickly really kills any chance they'll have of ever getting to you.
Replay value - Incredibly small. I guess the game may be a bit more fun with two players, but that theory didn't hold out for Separation Anxiety and I'm pretty sure it won't hold out here. I went through the entire game, took around thirty five minutes(watched all the mind-numbing cinemas), I didn't die once, I didn't enjoy it past the first half of the first level.
Tips for better gaming experiences:
In level four(the cave), you have to break the boulders in the background to move on. Just move as far to the top of the screen as you can and attack the rocks. Some break, some don't, keep trying.
My rating: 55(out of 100) - Imagine the repetitive gameplay and enemies of Separation Anxiety mixed with the pure monotony of The Tick...then imagine it with Power Rangers. Getting sleepy yet?

JD says: First Separation Anxiety, now this!? Are you trying to put me in a coma!?

Zord Power!!! Um, I think.
Two purple enemies down, 587,816,719,337,573,518,668 more to go. Then it'll be on to the clay guys...
Getting a little help from a drunk driver.
All of this started because of a little ooze...
Hey kids:

(let your mouse do the reading...)