Giving kitty a bath

If there's one thing that kitties do not enjoy, it's a good bath. Not only is it nearly impossible to get them into the tub, but you get ripped to shreds in the process. With this new technique, I think you'll find that making kitty wash up with something other than his saliva is easier than ever!

Step One:
Grab kitty! Now, in case you didn't know, kitties know when something's up so they'll be ready for you when you get to them. They can move super fast, and at times it will look like that scene from the Matrix when they shoot at that guy and he keeps moving really fast. Sweetness!
Step Two:
Put kitty in the sink and turn on the water for him. Like most cats, they prefer the smooth taste of cool, running tap water. Note: Don't use your sink, use your girlfriend's sink(this project leaves quite a bit of fur in it, you don't want to have to clean that up do you?).

Step Three:
VERY slowly, reach over to the faucet handle and turn that bastard on full blast!

Kitty is super smart, so he's going to be expecting a stunt like this! After foiling your attempt to hose him down, he will most likely start growling and licking his lips before he lunges towards you with claws out and mouth open!

Step Five:
Run! I don't know why I even list this as an option, it never works. Well, at least his paws are somewhat clean from sitting in the sink, as he rips into your feet....



(note: this project has NEVER worked)