Prescription Drugs

Commercial - Various Company - Various Disturbance Factor - 9: Tremor....fucking TREMOR!?
We've all seen them...many, many times. The allergy commercials aren't half bad, but then you get into these motherfuckers talking about herpes outbreaks!? Jesus, I am eating spaghetti here, I don't want to think about some guy's nuts bleeding!	"You know when your left nut isn't feeling well"

"Thank God we traded in our allergies for the high amount of white trash here in the Wal-Mart parking lot!"	Yes folks...unless you submit, and take our glorious medication, your family may too be exiled...

The sexual side effect of the herpes medication is that NOONE will have sex with your herpe-ridden ass!	"I came to this river to wash the herpes off..."

"My boss just left for her weekend getaway of trying to wash her herpes off....I hope she drowns. Dirty bitch, that's what she gets for letting a pack of wild dobermans run the train on her."	Whatever happened to good'ole claustrophobia!? Replaced with a more marketable barrage of bullshit disorders.

I love the complex graphs and visuals they use to help you understand why their drugs are for you. Where's the picture of the guy taking a dump in a bucket on the corner of the street, in front of a line of seniors waiting for the bus, because he couldn't make it to the bathroom before his pants started foaming(thanks to yet another side effect of these drugs)?	Believe it or not, this is actually what it looks like inside 90% of your body.
Closing thoughts: Ok, the commercials...well, just suck plain and simple. What I would like to talk about is the disturbing side effects the announcers love to fly by your ass. Listen carefully to any one of these bits of corn-laden shit and you may hear any of the following side effects: dry mouth, insomnia, some sexual side effects, diarrhea, nausea, sleepiness, headache, cold, back pain, nose bleed, sore throat, decreased appetite, sweating, constipation, tremor(fucking tremor!?), fatigue, edema, abdominal pain or drowsiness. I don't know about you, but I think I'd be a lot healthier and happier if I could JUST worry about what I had rather than adding to it. Imagine it: "Yeah, Bob, I'd love to go to the game...but I don't know...these tremors...mixed with diarrhea....it's like, I go into convulsions while shit SHOOTS out of my ass.....but at least pet dander doesn't bother me anymore! Score one for me baby! Yeah!!"